Trust « The Gypsy Life

I have been on the road for six months now. And most of those Road Trips taken were without being able to drive my car. My legal rights to a driver’s license buried in some endless bureaucracy. At first, I felt like the inability to legally drive would become a boulder sitting right in the middle of my life and block my deep intentions to follow the flow of where the river would take me. For a month or more I reacted and resisted this interruption in my perceived plan. Once the likelihood of driving wherever my heart led, was challenged, I relaxed into the “interruption” and began to relate to it as a gift. “What might this unwanted experience provide for me that I could not have known or perceived without it?” And the answer was: “Surprise?” The answer was,”The unexpected”.

What I am coming to understand is that MY “plans” are only one possible future. And my attachment to the outcome of those plans can limit my life. If I could have driven, my two week stay with my daughter with an intention to drive North to Maine would have me leaving Asheville. But, because I had to pause for a moment, breath, let go of my attachment to any outcome, I stumbled into my own desire to create a website while waiting for what I thought would be a few weeks before the debacle of my driver’s license was behind me.

I interviewed two people for the job and hired one. Mary Long brought love, joy and creativity to my creating a clearer identity and I hired her. Richard Gannaway was equally as gifted, but somehow in our interview we never truly discussed my budding website, but fell into a mutual love for music, for his work as a composer, singer and musician with AO Music. Richard sent me home that day with his newest album and my life changed forever.

The music did what music only can. It opened a part of me long-buried and reminded me of a part of myself that had forgotten a core inspiration in my life which lead me to aligning my self with AO Music and it’s care for changing hearts and helping children. My life ignited. If I had driven away as planned I would have missed Joy breaking into my life.

“The Law of Attraction is responding to your thought, not to your current reality. When you change the thought, your reality must follow suit. If things are going well for you, then focusing upon what is happening now will cause the well-being to continue, but if there are things happening now that are not pleasing, you must find a way of taking your attention away from those unwanted things. You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually… your life experience.” Abraham

I stayed much longer in Asheville than had been planned. I had time to sit inside of my own dreaming, my own inspiration and my deepest wants and desires and could not “drive away from them”. The minute I claimed these hopes and dreams my energy changed, my happiness increased and as the law of attraction is trying to teach us, suddenly and immediately people, ideas, opportunities and gifts that MATCHED those dreams and inspirations began to flood into my life. I was offered the chance to write a screenplay and then to attend The Film School in Seattle.

Tom Skerritt, The Film School

I did not chase my dreams in my car. I couldn’t. I did not make a ten point list of goals for the year to tick off one by one. I waited, I practiced deep self inquiry and I listened to promptings that had been drowned out by my assumptions about my life and what I should be doing. And in return, the Universe was given room and space to spill into my life with opportunity that I could not have seen.

Since “having my wings clipped”, so to speak by unforeseen circumstances, I have found that in fact, I do not need a car. That I do not need to spend all that money and gas for something that I have done just fine without. I can stop polluting the planet. I can create a slower pace instead of knowing that my car is right outside my front door so I can dash anywhere. That has been another surprise. The cost of a periodic taxi, taking the bus when I am in an urban area, being a passenger with a friend who I get a chance to chat with, and generally limiting how many places I need to be in a day has slowed me down to a rhythm that I am liking. That is healthier and more centering.

I have spent time on the ocean in Washington with Icelandic Ponies, I have lived in a hotel for a month while going to The Film School here is Seattle, I have aligned my life and heart with a cause to open the heart through music. I am nearly done with the first draft of the screenplay I have been asked to write. And my website reflects the constant unfolding of me as I move toward being the most authentic expression of myself. And come the end of May, one year after the death of my mother, my daughter, who I have been staying with in Asheville will be moving. The lease is up. And the question that comes back round is: What’s next. Where will my next stop be? I cannot wait to be surprised!

I was directed in a scene by Tom Skerritt as the infamous “Mrs. Robinson” from the movie The Graduate. Acting is NOT my forte so I will stick to being a writer!

At the most northern border of Washington sits a little peninsula called Point Roberts, which is the only spit of land that is not hooked to the United States, but is still called America, since you have to go into Canada and then back over the border again into Point Roberts to get to it at all. Three sides of water, 1700 people and a wild terrain make it an unusual destination for anyone. But not for a writer.

I am here for a month to finish a first draft of the screenplay I have been hired to write. There is no cell phone service for me and even land line service is unreliable. That is good. I have the fortune of waking up ever morning to opening my large windows that look out on an idyllic scene. Right in front of my house is a large winter pasture, filled with Icelandic Ponies that exude a kind of old world energy with their shaggy coats, long trailing tails of rust and black that blow in the persistent wind, and their plush manes. It is a frequent sight to be watching them and as they are sipping at a winter pond in the field, a Bald Eagle will joint them for a bath. Everyone completely at home with one another. Everyone certain of their own unique nature and living it without restraint. Oh if that were true for all of us humans.

And, looking past the field, are the Strait of Georgia, a grey blue ocean with rolling hills of Canada in the distance. I have not seen the whales yet and do not know their winter migration habits.

So, The Point is full of writers, retired folks, old timers, hermits, eccentrics and transplants like me. Individuals and families, most of them women so far, that find the seclusion, the simplicity and the rural flavor and rhythm to be just what they are looking for and have moved here from all over the world. I can see the benefits immediately for me as a writer.

And getting here was momentous. I left Asheville on the 17th and flew to Denver for two big events. The first was to meet with my Lawyer about my non-existent driver’s license. Last judge, Higher Court, made an appeal to change the spelling on the original name change document that was ten years ago, and once again, an inexplicable NO. So, a new tack is being taken. I am going to Canada and getting an International Driver’s License. Now this is creative. Please send good thoughts my way that this will be easy and simple. And of course Marriage is not ruled out, so a lottery might just be created in the future.

There is a letter in the mail to my Congressman, I never got an audience with the Governor of Colorado so a letter to him is underway and I am almost finished with an expose for Channel Nine in the special interest category. We will see where any of it leads, but it is certain that I am having ample opportunity to use my voice in creative ways.

The second big event was re-uniting with a dear friend who I have not seen for ten years , who now lives in Sweden. She is an exceptional international painter and brought a body of her newer work to Denver. She has had an extraordinary life and was graced to lived inside the wonderful Miracle of finding love on 9/11 while others experienced the endless losses of that day. I am so privileged to know her and trying to catch each other up on our many twists and turns of life over a decade filled with love, death, children, changing careers, travels and aging was quite an exercise.

So, I am here now in Point Roberts to write and prepare for my next leap of faith. Just before leaving for the West Coast for some of my very own seclusion, I was seized with a knowing that I wanted to apply to The Film School in Seattle. I have wanted to attend their Screenwriters Bootcamp for years, but my faith in myself as a screenwriter was not strong enough and time never seemed to be right.

The school is the creation of actor Tom Skerritt (www.thefilmschool.com) and has reached international acclaim for their commitment to helping writers remember the art of story telling and character development, which we do not see much any more out of Hollywood. So, as I can feel the power of the story I am writing about the triumph on one man’s spirit, I decided to apply for their Bootcamp in March. Then of course I noticed they only took 25 people internationally.

There they were. The voices at my left ear whispering: “Maya what are your thinking? You are 30 years older than every applicant, you have no production experience on your side of the ledger, you are a woman and you know how that has been and always will be in Hollywood, and you know you won’t get in so what are you thinking…WHAT are you thinking?” So I applied and told the voices to shut up.

I got in.

Wow is all I can say.

I will leave here on Feb 25th for Seattle, renting a room with a kitchenette and starting a 6 day a week, 12 hour a day writers dream, complete with no time to shower or sleep and lots of coffee I don’t even drink. I need to relearn the bus system, remember how to take a backpack everywhere with my computer and camera, find a local health food store that is open very early in the morning, and forget about all those supplements I usually take and just dive in.

I am so very appreciative of this opportunity. It seems that when I simply quiet myself and listen intently to what my guiding voice from my heart tells me, no matter how unfathomable, how outlandish, how inconvenient or how much money I think I don’t have etc…..I am always led to exactly where my soul needs to be and most of the time I did not even really know my soul needed to be there.

After four months, it is clear that living in the Flow of Life, fully surrendering all control, is the only way I want to be living from this time forward. And oddly enough as I arrive at this commitment it is exactly what is called for to live in the year 2012. I have come to realize that the most important part of living is for me to be deeply aware of what brings me Joy and Inspiration. Period. People think that living for love, or living for what brings happiness means that you don’t do the responsible parts of life. That is not true. You just bring a happier more inspired person to those tasks we have to do to be a responsible global citizen.

All the years of thinking life was about what I DID and not about just BEING happily in myself were years that I know I created my own ill-health and my own struggle to do the right thing, to do the acceptable things, to do too much and overdo it in so many ways that never led me to a sense of calm knowing who I am and why I am here. I am glad to have found my way out of that illusion and into a space in my life only filled with possibilities.