Having left the Rainforest of North Carolina and headed west I’ve landed in the middle of the country. I can’t say that travel through Tennessee and Missouri was the least bit interesting and at one point I just wanted someone to please beam me up and out of the sandwich I had become on I 40, as I crawled along with packs of sixteen wheelers for nearly ten hours. Crossing into Oklahoma, well, was a relief, as the trucks moved on toward Little Rock and finally let me out of what had been an interminable prison of fumes.
Sunsets. The best part of Oklahoma especially as they light the sky and on the horizon are mechanical oil wells pumping away with their black silhouettes like ancient dinosaurs still roaming the countryside. But once here, I remembered the years as a child on my grandparents farm but also remembered why this is not the state for me. The simplest way to describe my being the one to feel so alien here is to say that the mindset is overall…confining. Enough said.
I came to Oklahoma to house sit for my sister and hunker down to serious writing. But it took about a week to recover from packing, moving, packing some more, storing the last bits of my stuff, packing the car, saying goodbye to people I love, and then listening to my beloved cat meow for over a hundred miles. I have made this nomadic choice before but this round of simplifying my life in order to create more financial freedom and just more room in general for shifting my focus to my life as a writer, has not been easy. Age? Maybe. A very hard year? Maybe. But that’s not what I really think the difficulty has been. Each of us has our own personal stories we are living but on a global and cosmic stage that exerts a powerful influence on each and every one of us.
I believe that navigating the prevailing winds of change on the planet takes great focus, greater personal energy and impacts all of us at a deep level. Yet I keep orienting to life’s changing landscape as if it were twenty years ago when none of the challenges that currently impact all of us had revved up to the peak we are now facing. And so much of the shift all around us is …mysteriously unseen.
From ever-increasing electromagnetic assault, fear pollution, cellular change at a powerful vibrational level to inner tension from financial stresses, relational endings, health concerns, lost jobs, and the nagging questions of “why am I here and what am I doing with my life?”, these issues, energies and questions are epidemic for a huge part of the population.
These shifting inner and outer tides are no more prevalent than with those who understand that they are “old souls” on the planet for the umpteenth time. So, why is this the case? Is this collective phenomenon pressing on the old soul community harder because they have more tools or a greater commitment to change or transformation?
Is it because the shift that is brewing on our planet is simply requiring that old souls who have incarnated now are more responsible to lead the way out of one collapsing paradigm and into an emergent one of love and inclusiveness? Or is it that old souls are being pushed hard to shed all attachment of any kind, especially to lifestyle and constrictive or uncreative work in the world, so that they are unencumbered as freedom and mobility becomes a necessity in our lives? Yes. The answer is yes to all of the above.
So I confess. As I was swept along in between these loud, lumbering behemoths barreling down the road, containers full of mail, milk, food, tech, cows, horses and cars, I thought more than once, “What the hell am I doing?” And I have thought that many times as I drive from Oklahoma to Colorado.
Jumping into the unknown does not give you wings to soar above the fear or an endless measure of faith to overcome the doubt. In fact, taking a leap of faith because you cannot do anything other than jump, assures you that you will have a daily practice of quelling the doubt and fear, talking yourself into a few more uncertain miles until the Universe very predictably leads you into all the magic and the moments, the people and the places that you know instantly are why you jumped in the first place. Then you get up and do it all over again.
So tomorrow I will be in Denver, the Rockies looming in the distance with their first snowcaps. I look forward to being back to where I lived for eight years and crossing over the border, on through the town of Limon and then the vast vista of the high plans, the rolling sagebrush, and the cloudless sky stretched out before me. When I get there I will breath in the cooler Colorado air and simply say, “So, what will today bring?” I say that most every day now.
I also ask…am I loving where I am, what I’m doing, how I’m feeling? Am I having fun, feeling happiness and LOVE? It is important that my answer is mostly, “YES!”
Your writing is phenomenal. I wish you a wonderful transition. Missing you in our beautiful energetic vortex of Asheville. Sending you lots of love. Talk soon!
Dear Maya, I cast around through your words and fall in with you on the journey that I have done so many times. Both the internal and external. We are both Cliff Jumpers, and I played with the idea of workshops around that. For now, I continue to know you via words and images. I send love and delight and await that breath of cool, clean air from the Rockies.