Navigating the Times

life-in-denver

Having left the Rainforest of North Carolina and headed west I’ve landed in the middle of the country.  I can’t say that travel through Tennessee and Missouri was the least bit interesting and at one point I just wanted someone to please beam me up and out of the sandwich I had become on I 40, as I crawled along with packs of sixteen wheelers for nearly ten hours.  Crossing into Oklahoma, well, was a relief, as the trucks moved on toward Little Rock and finally let me out of what had been an interminable prison of fumes.

 

Sunsets.  The best part of Oklahoma especially as they light the sky and on the horizon are mechanical oil wells pumping away with their black silhouettes like ancient dinosaurs still roaming the countryside.  But once here, I remembered the years as a child on my grandparents farm but also remembered why this is not the state for me.  The simplest way to describe my being the one to feel so alien here is to say that the mindset is overall…confining.  Enough said.

 

I came to Oklahoma to house sit  for my sister and hunker down to serious writing.  But it took about a week to recover from packing, moving, packing some more, storing the last bits of my stuff, packing the car, saying goodbye to people I love, and then listening to my beloved cat meow for over a hundred miles.  I have made this nomadic choice before but this round of simplifying my life in order to create more financial freedom and just more room in general for shifting my focus to my life as a writer, has not been easy.  Age? Maybe. A very hard year?  Maybe.  But that’s not what I really think the difficulty has been.  Each of us has our own personal stories we are living but on a global and cosmic stage that exerts a powerful influence on each and every one of us.

 

I believe that navigating the prevailing winds of change on the planet takes great focus, greater personal energy and impacts all of us at a deep level.  Yet I keep orienting to life’s changing landscape as if it were twenty years ago when none of the challenges that currently impact all of us had revved up to the peak we are now facing.  And so much of the shift all around us is …mysteriously unseen.

 

From ever-increasing electromagnetic assault, fear pollution, cellular change at a powerful vibrational level to inner tension from financial stresses, relational endings, health concerns, lost jobs, and the nagging questions of “why am I here and what am I doing with my life?”, these issues, energies and questions are epidemic for a huge part of the population.

 

These shifting inner and outer tides are no more prevalent than with those who understand that they are “old souls” on the planet for the umpteenth time.    So, why is this the case?  Is this collective phenomenon pressing on the old soul community harder because they have more tools or a greater commitment to change or transformation?

 

Is it because the shift that is brewing on our planet is simply requiring that old souls who have incarnated now are more responsible to lead the way out of one collapsing paradigm and into an emergent one of love and inclusiveness?  Or is it that old souls are being pushed hard to shed all attachment of any kind, especially to lifestyle and constrictive or uncreative work in the world, so that they are unencumbered as freedom and mobility becomes a necessity in our lives?  Yes.  The answer is yes to all of the above.

 

So I confess.  As I was swept along in between these loud, lumbering behemoths barreling down the road, containers full of mail, milk, food, tech, cows, horses and cars, I thought more than once, “What the hell am I doing?”  And I have thought that many times as I drive from Oklahoma to Colorado.

 

Jumping into the unknown does not give you wings to soar above the fear or an endless measure of faith to overcome the doubt.  In fact, taking a leap of faith because you cannot do anything other than jump, assures you that you will have a daily practice of quelling the doubt and fear, talking yourself into a few more uncertain miles until the Universe very predictably leads you into all the magic and the moments, the people and the places that you know instantly are why you jumped in the first place.  Then you get up and do it all over again.

 

So tomorrow I will be in Denver, the Rockies looming in the distance with their first snowcaps. I look forward to being back to where I lived for eight years and crossing over the border, on through the town of Limon and then the vast vista of the high plans, the rolling sagebrush, and the cloudless sky stretched out before me. When I get there I will breath in the cooler Colorado air and simply say, “So, what will today bring?”  I say that most every day now.

 

 

 

 

Practicing Transformation

by Maya Christobel

 

I am hearing daily from so many people that they are feeling… “different”:  More sensitive, feeling body pains, getting ill, energized for some, sluggish for others. Tired but not sleeping. Overwhelmed but not knowing exactly why. All bodily responses to changing energetic fields all over the planet and in our solar system.  The answer is not sleeping pills or any conventional response.  We need an entirely new perspective.

 

It is no  longer possible to separate ourselves as if we are distinct from EVERY OTHER THING.  We are being affected daily by our Sun and Solar Flares, by Climate Change, by our Economy, our Friends, our Fears and our Dreams. Greece cannot have economic collapse and create a global fear response and we not feel it on the other side of the globe as we eat dinner.

 

So, we are being asked, if not required, to take a new position in our lives in order to integrate these new energies that are changing the very DNA of us as a species so that we not become ill in response. This sounds overwhelming and for some it is.  Confusing and it is at times. The natural response to change is usually a kind of “contraction” in our lives, a reactivity to fear, a stepping up of activity and problem solving.  This is no longer working.  The new response to these demands is to…relax.  Breath.  Walk.  Sleep.  Laugh and be in a place of Openness and Love.  Not easy as the lives we live swirl around us and the majority feel massive amounts of fear.

 

I remember reading about a woman who was attacked by a bear.  She was just in her tent minding her own business when out of left field a bear tore through her tent and began to drag her off to the woods to kill her.  Others had already died.  What she did was counter-intuitive to screaming and resisting.  She went silent and limp. She stopped resisting.  What happened next was astonishing.  The bear dropped her in the woods and walked away.  She was not unharmed, but she was alive.

 

I am finding that I have the opposite response to mounting tensions in the world, tensions in my life and personal crises.  I am not worrying or trying to “figure anything out”. I am not resisting.  That is very new for me and may have much to do with my choice to begin to live in the flow.  Allowing rather than pushing the river that rushes all around me.  My list of what I think I should do still sits mostly unaddressed as I put on my hat and grab my binoculars and go out to Lighthouse point to watch for the Orcas to come through.  Years ago I would have decided that I was in denial, crazy as a loon, lazy, afraid to face facts if I had done such a thing.  Now I am different.  I feel perfectly centered and none of the traditional triggers in my life that would have sent  me to bed sleepless or with a sore throat and a pounding heart seem to affect me in any of the usual ways.  And that undone list of “necessary responses” is till there and the world has not collapsed around me.  I have not become a bag lady.

 

The antidote to the psychotic times we live in is not to speed up…but to do exactly the opposite:  Slow down.  Slow way down so that the body can manage the energy that is presenting itself in a hundred new ways a day.  To stop our reactive resistance just like the woman who saved herself from the jaws of a bear.

 

The second cure for harrowing times is to change your mind.  The mind wants to solve the unsolvable and will use up all available energy trying to.  The way to stop this over-thinking, over-worrying, over-analyzing is to change your thoughts from “I am overwhelmed”, to “I have an opportunity for creativity”.  From “I am afraid”, to “I am practicing love and trust in this process of change”.  What these changed minds mean is that we are finally acknowledging that we are in control of our experience. Fear is the belief that we are not in control. What we intend to think really does change the outcome of our daily experience.

 

Many people all over the world are talking about the unprecedented times of spiritual, physical and emotional evolution we are in.  From CNN to Psychics we have a delicious array of input to help us navigate our changing times, changing relationships and emerging new world view.  Here is just one piece of writing that I think is helpful. It came to me from Marlene Swetlishoff.  Good, sound and inspiring guidance.

 

You are in a period of stillness awaiting the influx of greater energies that are soon to flood the Planet. Be receptive and open to these energies and absorb as much of them as you are able. Set your intention to receive in grace and ease and it will be so. Many changes continue to take place within your physical bodies and your DNA is being further activated. The next six months will bring through many revelations and a greater connection with your inner truths. 

 

Stay connected to your inner core essence and let it guide your way. This will help you to stay in the knowing of yourself and that which is important for you to follow for the highest and best outcomes in all that occurs in your daily living. In dealing with others, always look to meet them in the areas of common interest and endeavor to reflect to them your Light, and in turn, allow their Light to reflect back to you. You are in a period of igniting each other to the unfoldment of greater visions and dreams.

 

This will transpire in different ways for each of you and the outcomes will be wonderfully diverse as each of you express through your Beings that which is uniquely your own essence. Become each others greatest cheering teams, for much joy and laughter will facilitate the moving forward of each of you to your true and rightful place, as the shift of the ages continues to occur. Let go of all remaining fear and doubt, for all that comes through you is the merging of the higher aspects of yourselves. There will be prolonged periods of the feeling of joy that bursts from within you as you leave all that was behind you.

 

Stay grounded into the Earth each day as she will support you as the metamorphosis within you continues to take place. Drink copious amounts of fresh, clean water to help facilitate the movements of the new energies coming through you and be outdoors as much as possible. Practice deep breathing exercises each day to help move the new Pranic energies into your cells. Allow the expression of all that comes through you and observe what comes forth. You are reconnecting to skills, abilities and talents that have been dormant for a long time.”    Marlene Swetlishoff

 

So, in between sharing about my journey on this road I am on, I will be sending up a few flares for your consideration as we all float in this big boat of change.  What an exciting time to be in.

 

And again, I invite you to share your story with me.  How are you changing and what are you doing about it in your life? What are you learning?  We all need each other, as Marlene said, to cheer us on during this amazing time.

 

Blessings, Maya Christobel

Eddie! Or is it Eddy?

I wish I could say that I had fallen in love with some guy named Eddie.  The only Eddie I know is Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver, and all I really remember about him is his annoying high pitched and grating voice.  A real whiner.  No, here I am referring to the eddy, those spots in a river that, on a long paddle, you look for to catch your breath. At least that is what I remember about canoeing.  My hope was for a calm eddy around the corner so I could get out of the current and take a breather.  Well, this memory of the benevolence of the eddy is being challenged and I am currently having quite a different experience.

For nearly 9 months I have dedicated my life to learning to live in the flow.  To live from a much more aware and intentional place in myself. To give my mind a vacation.  It has been both challenging and magical.  My most valuable compass has become practicing the art of navigating life from the heart, the intuition and that “gut feeling”.  Yet in this practice my heart is always accompanied by my mind trying to get control of the process and of the unknowing. My mind believes it can figure anything out and that it will make me feel better in the face of uncertainty.

So, the river of life I live in right now is moving at a speed that my little boat is having some difficulty navigating.  My mind just wanted to “eddie out” and consider my options.

My home base for the better part of a year has been a room in my daughters apartment in Asheville North Carolina, where a few of my things and my cats live when I am not here.  She and I have busted the illusion that mothers and daughters cannot co-habitate as adults and it has been a great time.  But, the lease is up here and Jessie is leaving for the Virgin Islands on her adventure and I am packing my few things, my cats and heading….hmmm….well that’s not clear.

I have many options but no one of them turns that inner light of knowing on or makes me feel inspired and certain.  Every choice that comes up on the radar sounds great:  More time with Film School in Seattle, going to the coastal town of Point Roberts and writing, Findhorn in Scotland, setting down some roots here in Asheville, creating community with new friends.  All these ideas of what is next for me seem great from my mind’s point of view, but my heart is quiet. I have lost my compass.

So, I did the most familiar thing I could do in the face of packing boxes and moving out in  five days from now.  Yep 5 days.  I decided to let my mind take over and make a solution.  Big mistake.  My lack of patience to wait for the answer kicked in my most primitive response.  Just figure it out.  You can do it Maya.  Just get that pad of paper and get those pro’s and con’s down and it will be clear what you should do next.  Big, very big mistake.  It was at this moment I began to eddy out of the river of my inspired life and discovered that an eddy if far more complicated than I had remembered.

An eddy is a place in a river where the water is “moving in a different direction or different speed” than the main current. Eddies are made by rocks in the river, outcroppings along the side, behind logs, bridge pilings, and also on the inside of bends or along the side of the river.  An “eddy line” is the part of the river that separates an eddy from the main current. Eddy lines can range from gentle changes of current, to violent, whirl-pool-causing obstacles. The speed, volume, and motion of the current will decide what type of eddy line is formed.

The eddy that was created, the moment my mind jumped into the front seat of my life was nothing short of a violent whirlpool of thinking.  I began to chew on every detail of why this and not that.  My pros and cons list graduated to a full sized dry erase board in my living room where I could move around all the factors in my life like on a chess board.  This process of “figuring it all out” became exhausting and took me just deeper down the rabbit hole of indecision.  All the while I am being churned around in the washing machine of my own thoughts, the river is just moving past me in it’s predictable and constant flow and always going somewhere.  In the end, I made myself sleepless, anxious and stuck.  I had forgotten my compass.

Right when I hit my breaking point I stumbled on a post on Facebook.  There was a black and white cartoon of a man in the darkness without a flashlight.  All you could see were his blinking eyes.  That was me!  The quote went something like this: “They say when one door closes, another door opens.  But these hallways are a bitch!”.  I was in the dark corridor between leaving something and beginning something and I did not like it.

So, with a week before I had to fill a car full of cats and belongings, find storage for my few other things and go to AAA to get a new set of maps and trip books, I came to a grinding halt in my process of efforting to discern the right thing to do.  I just stopped thinking. I gave up trying. What a relief.  My little boat broke loose of all the debris and obstacles that the mind had created and just silently drifted back into the rushing current of uncertainty.  I was allowing myself to simply not know.  Chop wood, carry water was for me “pack one box at a time” and not know where it was going.  Sleep returned and anxiety stopped. I allowed the vast knowing universe back into my process.

And I now spend time every day reminding myself of the joy of the journey, even if I do not know the destination.  And that is the key.  Letting go of the destination.

When most of us take trips we have a map or a tour guide.  Without the map we do what?  We drive down the road and if we get lost we ask directions (or at least I do).  But like most I had become dependent on knowing where I am going and getting the map out when I felt lost.  The map shows you what is ahead, when to turn, the distance and the constructions zones to avoid, all in the service of me getting from point A to point B.  I have a point A but no point B.  I wanted a map and my mind was going to make one. But in reality that is delusional.  How can anyone get a map from point A to nowhere?  This process of needing to know and have a destination stripped me of the very things I have been learning:  That I do not always know what is next and if I allow that unknowing to just “be” then, without exception, something breaks into my life that is new and magical.  My heart and my intuition know that but my mind had forgotten.

I had forced myself out of the flow of my own knowing and put myself purposefully into a place that was “moving in a different direction or different speed” than the main current.  Why?  Because I was afraid to not know.  I was afraid to make the “wrong” decision.  I was simply uncomfortable in limbo and unwilling to live with the discomfort. Fears were my “eddie line” separated me from the main current of life.

So, you might be waiting to hear what I have finally discovered that I will do come May 29th.  Me too!  I still have no idea.  I rededicated myself to the path that this entire year is about for me and I am waiting for the direction to emerge.  I am waiting and floating on the river with my heart as the rudder.  And until that feeling of joy and inspiration floods my very being, I am packing one box at a time, I am getting my oil changed, I am putting out requests, I am meditating on the very vision of why I am on this road in the first place:  To discover what makes me happy.  So stay tuned for the next chapter.